Though mental health awareness is building, seeking help for mental illness doesn’t come to us very easily. Some have realized the merit in seeking professional help, but we still have a long way to go before it becomes commonplace.
There are two main underlying reasons why people do not seek professional help and therapy when trying to deal with severe stress or a mental health issue. Understanding the reasons behind one’s hesitance is the first step to overcoming it.
Stigma
Stigma involves a lack of knowledge, negative and prejudiced attitudes and discrimination, by society, against the person concerned. While stigma against mental health has reduced in recent years, the pace of progress has not been quick enough.
Social stigma, also called public stigma, refers to negative stereotypes attached to those with a mental health problem. These stereotypes come to define the person, and society marks them out as being different and less desirable. Social stigma is associated with discrimination. For example, a person with a mental health concern may find it harder to gain housing, obtain employment and access healthcare.
Self stigma occurs when a person internalises society’s negative stereotypes. This can cause low self-esteem, shame and hopelessness. Both types of stigma can lead a person to avoid seeking help for their mental health problem due to embarrassment or fear of being shunned or rejected. When this happens the underlying problem can go untreated and can worsen some conditions. i
Feeling vulnerable
Most people have some difficulty expressing their feelings and discussing traumatic past experiences even with those closest to them. Opening up to a therapist who a person has just been introduced to can feel overwhelming. It makes people feel raw and vulnerable when their guards are brought down. The process can seem frightening.
You may have some legitimate concerns
People are unsure of how their therapist will respond, are afraid they may be judged, are concerned about confidentiality being maintained, and even worry that they may be led down the wrong path.
You may be looking for ways to delay
Going over these concerns in their minds, people begin to look for other reasons not to seek help. They may try to convince themselves that they can manage without help by tapping into their inner strength and that they have friends to turn to. Even if they’ve been suffering for a while, they may tell themselves that with time they will feel better. They may convince themselves that a therapist isn’t going to be able to understand their concerns when they don’t know each other personally. Sometimes, the thought of changing and taking on a long term commitment of working on themselves also seems discouraging.
The Truth Is…
Often enough, the crux of all this rationalizing and reasoning is that it makes people feel uncertain and scared to bring down their defenses, speak freely, put forth their vulnerabilities and trust that a stranger will be able to help!
If you consider starting therapy and such thoughts begin to haunt you, it is important to remember that therapists are skilled at making their clients and patients feel comfortable. Therapy is meant to provide a safe space, conducive to speaking freely.
Your therapeutic alliance is important
Therapy is a relationship that is both professional and personal, and the alliance you form with your therapist is an important factor that contributes to your recovery. But just in case you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist, you can try being forthright about your apprehensions, or can find yourself another therapist who may suit you better.
For most of us, it’s always easy to find a reason not to do something that’s good for ourselves—like exercise, getting a full night’s sleep, or finding a therapist. Remember that people who seek help can forge a strong working relationship with their therapist even if it is their first time, and advance in their quest for better personal understanding and mental health.